New Yea

It’s the beginning of the new year. My social media is flooded with inspiring “new year, new me” posts that make me sit down and think “should I reflect on my own resolutions?”

To me at least, every year feels the same. The beginning makes me so excited and I jot down inspiring thoughts, affirmations and goals in my head that I plan on getting done by the end of the year. Right around March (my birthday month funny enough) I start to feel uninspired, overly tired and depressed. I have seen this same pattern happen to me over the past couple of years and it makes me wonder….

Will I ever change?

I notice the same things happening, but I don’t take any initiative to try and stop it or to try and change some aspect of it.

When I sat down after looking at thousands of “new year, new me posts” , I took a deep look within myself and what my goals are for 2019.

I know it always sounds a little cliché when people say that the new year is meant for working on themselves, but that is where I want to put all of my energy into.

Looking back, I think the reason why I always got to burnt out by March was because I was not focusing on what truly mattered, which is my own health and well-being.

I remember one year I wanted to focus on getting back in shape after I had gained 15 pounds my freshmen year of college. Instead of taking things slowly and treating myself with love and respect, I started off way too aggressive and then would get mad at myself when I would tire out at the gym or eat any type of food because I was starving myself and hungry.

The year after that I made it a goal to “find love” (cue eye roll) and got into many different relationships that ultimately hurt me and warped my perception of what a healthy relationship looks like.

I want this year to be different.

Hell, I am going to make it so different that when it’s over, I can look back and say to myself “Good job Taylor, you actually took initiative and made the changes you said you would.”

I am going to treat myself with more kindness and patience and do the same with others.

I am going to go back to therapy once a month to freely express what scares me the most and get some good feedback.

I am going to delve into projects that I have been dreaming about since my freshmen year of college.

This year I am going to make it all about me, for me.

Here’s to growth, health, wealth and happiness all of 2019!